Tear.

Fuck. So I really like you still I guess. Even after all the silliness, the leading me on, the not being able to FUCKING spell my name correctly, and the shitty way you seem to have handled things... I still want you. And yes, I am having my first cry over you.... fucking MONTHS later because I'm a misplaced feelings sort of idiot. I waited, ya know.

I love your fucking smile.

And it starts...

Exam time! I'll be working my butt off in the library and killing myself over school... but it's okay! It won't be long before it's Xmas break time. :) Speaking of which... Xmas party tonight @ Van Gogh's! :D I've got my dancing shoes on... damn you Paul for not coming!

Ugh. You're full of shit. You're full of shit and everyone's shitty and I just fall for it. What the hell.

Thank-you

Thanks a lot Mr. Hoon. I sort of forgot how you inspired me and made me feel better. I really shouldn't have.

Frustration builds... get a life!

I love you both, but you have your flaws and they are currently annoying the absolute fuck out of me.

To #1: Stop faking it.
To #2: Stop being so critical and bull-headed, especially when you'll do the same things if it's convenient. Hypocrite.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW STRONG MY LOVE IS.

Inspiring. I am going to India. //end transmission.

Catch Up

I promise I cooked. And I know I suck and haven't put up pictures... I will, I promise.

I went to Adrienne and Shane's wedding this past weekend... it was really gorgeous. It made me feel all excited about caring for people, but I'm really happy that right now all I have is me. In fact, I'm really ecstatic about the fact that I have dudes lining up around the block and I have the power to "not want" them. I probably sound like a total cunt, but this is a lesson in self-confidence and assurance. I'm fucking fantastic.

Now, I just have to get you to understand that and then we'll be golden.

The Vegan-ing

VEGAN MOFO 2009 IS UPON US!!!!

I'm hopefully going to be dusting off the cookbooks and getting some serious awesome cookery going. I know that you are supposed to post for every weekday of October, but since I am a student I am going to be aiming for 10 posts this month. Wish me luck and most of all, enjoy!

I am so behind with school already... what the hell?!?!! This semester is mondo-rape. Tomorrow is the Bouncing Souls show and I am excited to see them play!! :D I have to call Jeff to make sure they're coming, because then I'm going to have to set something up so that everyone has somewhere to sleep. Oh, and I'm going to (barring the fact that I may not want to get out of bed) make vegan waffles for everyone. :D This weekend we're having a tech coming to fix the goddamn internet, I work, and I am seeing Jeff (Frey!). Somewhere in there I'll try to study and do my 6000 assignments. I am already thinking that I'm skipping lab this afternoon... trying to find insurance is really stressing me out.

I signed up for Costa Rica!!! :D :D Sometime this week/early next week I am going to make my first deposit. I just need them to cancel the July trip that I signed up for, because now I am going in August. So between August 8th-August 20th I'll be hitting the waves... and possibly (if they'll let me) spend some time in Seattle and Portland either before or after CR. We're going to have to see how work goes. Between OMMI, med studies, and working at JJ/Vinyl I'll hopefully be able to scrape some cash. Getting a stipend for school would kind of be nice too I guess eh? I'm going to go see Wendy Arthur to discuss my options for school @ Guelph, but my other options seem to be UoT and UBC, both of which seem to be offering A LOT more money to their grad students. We'll see I guess?

Makes me want to sing along...

My mind is racing and I am such a loser for being so excited. It ain't happening, and I know it. But whatever, I am still gonna be pathetic-like and be excited. :)

:D Happy-nom-ina!

Yesterday was freaking weird. A 37-year-old skinhead asked to date me. Uh... sorry Eric. You're nice and all, but I'm not really down with the red laces.

Boychuk called today weirdly enough... apparently I called him from my pocket, but it doesn't show on my outgoing calls list. Weird! So he and Thom are coming to Bouncing Souls... I'm so very very excited. I want it off so bad. Better yet, if they get Mike to come then I'll be free of my extra tix and Alicia/Cass and I will be in for freez!! :D Gotta love the connections. I am the ultimate in cool.

<3 Sarah

P.S. Backyard beets + Zucchini for the win!! :D I am so very excited. I have the best life ever right now. Oh, and the sex toy party was so awesome last night. Chocolate vagina macaroons!

School started today and I am excited... but I really wish I'd stop thinking about you. Jerk. :P

...the sands blew in my eyes.

Fuck I love your smile. I could stare at it all day.

Last Saturday night ruled my world... but what the hell did it mean?

:D

All you need is love! :D

A new week starts... today was pretty boring but I guess that's what I get for having a weekend full of excitement *rolls eyes*. I gotta get my ear checked out... ugh it's ugly.

Excited for tomorrow... and I have no idea why. 8D

Doo doo doo doo doo, ROFLMAO!

My God life moves fast. It's been forever since I posted... but things are pretty good right now. :D Yeah man, really good. :)

I'm so happy, feeling snappy

It's fuckin' unbelievable how I always manage to get myself covered in a thin film of grimey dirt. I got home from Ceilidh last night and realized that my skin was practically peeling off. Yay.

Scenefest is today! I am very excited. I am gonna meet up with Cassie and Vegan and we're gonna huss it up. Or not. I catch the "Party Bus" @ 11:45... hehehe. What a thing to call it. Best part? It's just me. On the party bus. I hope that it's awkward as shit. Sigh* The joys of no vehicle.

I'm very excited to see Hostage Life again! We're gonna go to see Dorian Gray as well... I still don't know who's "headlining" it. Oh! The Reason is playing. Sweet. I hope the beer prices aren't super jacked. And it better not rain today! :(

I really need to pee! Aiyeeee!

Payday Monday. :) I finally asked Jackie for dinner shifts. We'll see how it does. I also applied to Van Gogh's yesterday. :)

To Say Something That Means Nothing At All

I guess I am officially not sleeping today. My mind is buzzing. I broke up with Joey today... which did not feel good. I tried to do it the best way I could and sort of give him an out. It's never a good time I guess though. I felt like such a douche because it was like "Hey, wanna still be friends?". I just hope that he's not angry with me for too long. I didn't want to do it... but I had to. :( I think that he was good to me and I to him... I don't want to lose our friendship and seeing how people can change after break ups, because I can honestly say that I have witnessed that all too often. I'm looking at his track record with other girls and it points to the fact that we could probably be friends, but then again I know that he always treated me different than A and V... so I don't know. Ugh. Another day starts. I hope I don't manage to fuck up anyone else's week.

C-R-A-Z-Y

I am going nuts!!! I can't kep my damn life straight today. Ugh...

Cleaning out my closet

I found some food porn kicking around on my computer:






Hopefully this frustrates the hell out of Joey and he's checking this out around lunchtime at work. Haha, much love darling. <3

So apparently I am probably done working at C-House. I am really sad about this because I work hard and unfortunately I don't think that it is paying off.

Damn, just when things were starting to take shape everything went teh suck.

Let's just go ahead and analyze why this sort of crap happens:

1. Person gets job.
2. Person works hard at job, boss is indifferent
3. Person fucks up/has a bad day/gets caught at an instant that they are not at their absolute finest
4. Person is downgraded and is either fired or has to start from square one.

NOT FUCKING COOL.

There's this thing that's looming and it's called SERIOUS FUCKING DEBT. I can't afford my July rent and I think that there has been a wrench thrown into my plans for paying for school in September. A.k.a. I am never going to see my boyfriend because I am going to be stuck working all the time and still may not be able to have a decent amount of money for paying bills, loans, etc.

Oh yeah, and having fun.

Whine, whine, whine.

So I guess the next thing to do is look for a job and enjoy the time I currently have off. And study.

Fuck my life.

Good for you.

You know, I always thought that I'd be the one that left everyone. Sitting on the other side it doesn't feel so good. :'( Just 1 more year till freedom. C'mon...

Today is the beginning of my life...

Best non-wedding day ever. <3>

I love the nightlife, I like to boogie

I wanna dance, dance, dance! 

No really... I'm so dance-y it's crazy. Joey went to see the Rackula/Metallama show tonight, but I was less than enthused. SOOOOO, instead I stayed home and studied and watched the season finale of Grey's. Yay. Whatever, I don't have money to be going to shows anyhow. 

I had a bit of time today where I felt really claustrophobic. I think it's partly because I have NO money and I have all these things that I want to do and I can't. :( Even more annoying is the fact that I have all this TIME. AHHHHHHHHHHH! My biggest problem is that I never have enough time for everyone/everything and me. So yeah, road trips, bartending school and all-around fun can't happen no mo'. Lames. Shifts better pick up or else I'm sunk. 

That's okay though. It's 2009 and things need to be awesome, just because I said so! Today was so absolutely beautiful. I went to the library to get a new book ("Eat, Pray, Love") and the sun was shining. I wore my foofy black skirt and everything was great. Someone even complimented me on it in a non-hitting-on-me sort of way. I like the non-creepies. 

Off to read my boooook! Cheers! 

Polina-lina left for Israel today. Mariska Hargate and such and such. 

I am BROKE! Work is giving me the 2-shift-a-week special and I still have so much to pay for my MC. I need to send my rent and the money from the Bell bill that I owe Emma tomorrow in the mail. I work tomorrow and Saturday... so hopefully I will make some moolah! 

Tomorrow my list is as follows: 

-call CP to come pick up my crap. :D 

-mail rent

-mail money to Emma 

-finish all chemistry homework questions

-finish fixing all 3 physics tests

-finish 3 physics subject tests

-online physics class

-online chemistry class

-all chemistry review homework

-verbal reasoning preview homework

-see Nat (1 pm)

-work 9-close 

Tomorrow should be busy! 

Vegan Brunch is out... I want it so bad I can taste it, haha. 

-xo S 

Money will roll right in...

Today is going to be my first day of work of the summer. I am pretty excited. Making money is .... exciting. :) All I can hope is that I can get some tips tonight. I need to pay off MC and my phone bill. Sandy McDonald is playing tonight though... so that should be fun! :D 

Boooooooooooring

It seems that summer is kinda sorta starting to FINALLY kick off. I've gotten a bunch of stuff done around the house with Dad, work starts tomorrow (technically today?), and my MCAT course has started up! Things I should say are pretty tip-top. ;)

I think that this summer is going to be great! I actually have started on most of the things that I would like to do this summer and I feel so positive about them. One thing that is super good is that I am losing weight, yahoo! I haven't really been weighing myself of anything, but by looking at myself and judging how my clothes fit... I'm looking pretty good. I want to be able to wear a bikini by the end of the summer.... maybe? That would be nice. Hopefully because we're going to be going to ..... CUBA! :D Maybe. It was originally supposed to be Mexico but since the whole swine flu thing broke out that has turned into one big freaking Mex-I-Can't. Lames. 

Anywho, my family should know where we're going, if we're going, by the end of the month. 

MCAT studying is going pretty well so far. I have done 2 classes and am early on with my studying. 45T baby!

I actually learned about this course that I want to take sometime this summer or fall. 

https://www.bartendingcanada.com/programs/certificate-courses/

It's bartending and mixology and not only do I think that it would be super cool and fun, but I think that I would really benefit from it for future jobs (and possibly higher earnings... ). 

I was thinking that maybe this fall I should try to get back into extra work to make some cash. That and those scientific studies... but I am gonna have to be off drugs to get back into that. Whatever. 

Anywho... I have lots to do tomorrow so I'll have to blog later. I promise it'll get more interesting.  

#1 failure

Hello hello hello! 

I am excited for a blog... and yet I currently have nothing to say. 

Ta-ta.